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Saturday, April 21, 2007

haiz....now my head is feelin so heavy n my head hurts yet i not tat slpy....juz now went to read steph blog...she mention on her prev blog on tue i called her on how's her sch so far...from wat she wrote i really felt deeply she really appreciate wat i did n care for her....i guess she nd to find a way to walk out the darkness tat she's facing now....really hope time will ease the pain for her...

老天爷啊! 我希望你能把大家的痛苦给带走

hmm....this wk everything have been fine....dunno aft 3mths will i be able to continue to wk in adampak...although zj n stan mention the pay is nt tat gd....but i find the ppl quite gd...it really is a gd workin environment here ppl are great....everyday have been nt tat bad...i get to see nicholas walk by my table haha....hope i will have a chance to noe him more.....to me bgr doesn't matter to me much if i get to noe a great guy tat wld be a gift from heaven....haha when nicholas walk passed my desk area although nt tat near but often i noe he's eye is towards me n i can confirm today cos no one was ard except me as usual he walk pass the walk way n he really look bk at me...haha....

thurs was wif jy we went to ps buy winnie present bought a handphone strap wif a steel attach to n engrave wif winnie's name...hope she like it...

haiz...my relationship have been very confusin n in a messed....due to my lack of willpower....although i saw nicholas my heart does beat very fast...

i dunno whether i ever given up on zj....i dun wanna becos of my 重色轻友 mindset to let the incident btw me n xin to repeat again....tat has always been the regret of my life....bk then me n xin we have everything under the sun to talk abt we can chat for hrs n not feelin bored whenever we have each others company we won hv any worries....till tat day our frenship broke off due to my

重色轻友 cos everything to fall apart...i can still remb tat day...it really was alightning struck on me....haiz...
i guess steph is really correct tat my likin of zj is juz a habit....
but habit does it link wif feelings....i really dunno i dun wish to think abt it tat much....

today i ask manager to go off early from wk...then head dw to sq then meet yiling annie n winnie at jurong entertainment centre....the rest alrdy reach sq for pract....band was quite fun play a new song n as usual hymn to the sun...kyousakai...

then yoke ting ask her mum to fetch her then eve zj winnie went on yt's mum car...when i on my way walkin zj called me n said he board on yt's mum car hm...at 1st i really felt angry all suppose to go hm tgt....nw they went bk wif yt although is also due to convenience....i dunno y i juz feel irritated by zj action's although he alrdy inform me...winnie sms me n the rest say ps abt leavin us n went wif yt...i guess only winnie will feel so the rest won bah...then yan stan ck n steph join us....stan was at the train he sat beside n say he dun wanna go wif them cos he dun wanna pang seh us....thx stan...think only u will hav the intiative bah....although u might be very headstrong on things u agree on but u'r still tat thoughtful...really appreciated wat u did....i dunno y i so bothered abt zj n i'm so affected of being pang seh by him...or is it the last time he pang seh me was quite long ago....argh feel so annoyed....i wanna be released from this frustration....ARGH....




3:14 AM